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African Lunchbox

Editor’s note, this interview was transcribed from the afore-mentioned Olympus Note Corder DP-311. The recorder was hidden inside of an African Lunchbox by GhanaMats. Therefore, the sound quality is sometimes noisy, when the Achacha reeds in the African Lunchbox rustle against the cloth-wrapped recorder. When we can’t reliably affirm the words use, we included one dot per 2 second interval. We made no attempt to discern different voices, we simply transcribed the words as discerned.

………….. It’s to the left, next to the Buffet Table. … If there is enough time, that’s the plan. Try the coffee though, it’s made in a percolator, so delicious, it tastes like the coffee that they had after the Yom Kippur service when I was a kid, and the only Stella D Oro cookies that were left were the ones without sprinkles or jelly. There was a fairly strict cookie order back then, it was a reverse-age selection. The old folks ate the ones that were nearly like bread, the teenagers ate the ones with the sprinkles and the children and mental incompetents ate the jelly cookies.

We plan to have the guests come through that door for the coffee and cookies, we have about half an hour for them to discuss over coffee and then I’ll announce that the Senator plans to give a quick intro to the plan. He’ll need about ten minutes for the intro, we’ll bring on the Principal Investigator for thirty minutes, and then I’ll announce that our next speaker was unexpectedly sent back to D.C., so I’ll just say something like “let’s break early, I opened the bar, and I’ve covered all the tips for all you cheap bastards, so I fully expect and demand that you drain our bar of alcohol and non-alcohol, but please leave some of those Japanese Seaweed crackers for me. I love those.” I’ll say that, and then we’ll have to pay the kitchen staff double, because I just moved up their schedule by an hour. But we need more time to socialize and drink. I think they get the gist of what we need them to do here, no point in delaying their drunken orgy much longer.

We good?

Good. Now, we have how many internals? . . . Six. Fuck me dead, Alex, sugar, I love you, I want to put a baby inside of you, I want you to have every bit of the life you want, but if you expect me to put out for you with my gorgeous manly body every night, you can’t load me up like this. I need to save my intellect and cunning to bring you to the apex of human existence when we’re done with this fucking thing for the night. I can’t rush these, I think I can manage three. Who do you have? . . . Tell Anna that I have to delay her internal. I’ll give her a solid ten minutes on internal the next time you two hang out. Give her my apologies, but please tell her honestly, I know she’s not going to get pissed at me if I trade her five minutes now for ten minutes later. Same with Doug. Tell him I’ll give him ten minutes at the skate park next time we’re out there. Straight ten minutes, cell phones off before the timer clicks. Okay, and Amy. Fuck, I have to do Amy, I owe her an internal from last time. I have to do Rocksteady Eddy and Dr. Redcloud. Shit, so that leaves my internal. I never get my fucking internal. Cut me off, I’m cool. Okay, so that’s Amy, Eddy and Redcloud. Thirty second cooldown, let’s get this shit done, gorgeous. Go …………….. Okay. Pull ’em in, pull ’em in. … This table, that asshole Rick has a tape recorder hidden over here somewhere, he’s going to blackmail me into giving him a 2002 Hyundai Accent. We’ll do it here, pull ’em in.

Dr. Redcloud. Good to see you again. Business okay? Family okay? Tribe okay? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yes? I don’t know if that’s the answer you want or not, but our measurements and tests suggest that the technology is fully feasibly and shovel ready in two years minimum. I am about 90% confident in the basic technology and 50% confident in the team. If necessary, we can step in at the end of Year One. Will you need help from this office for your project? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Very well, thank you. If that situation changes, please shoot me a text message. We have some resources here, but your willingness to handle the whole thing helps us accelerate our other work. . . . .

Eddy, Rocksteady, Rocksteady Eddy. What’s up dude? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . We’re leaning toward surface rejection rather than deep well injection. . . . . . . . . . . . We considered it, but we can’t inject on site unless it’s fully closed loop. And when we use surface injection, we get the extra filtration as the water moves back down to the aquifer. The amounts we’re looking at per wellhead is about twenty thousand gallons per day, we would need four five thousand gallon tankers per wellhead. That’s going to be a strain on the tourism resources. . . . .Got a pen? . . . Solution goes into the resource, it leaches, we pull up the produced water. Rick is secretly recording this by the way, punch him in the balls for me if you see him at the bar, would you? . . . It’s his shenanigans, he’s an asshole, ignore the fucker. Please don’t punch him in the balls, I was just joking. Knowing him he would probably like it anyway. . . . Yes, I think we’re at about thirty seconds left, we’ll push through. We pull up the produced water, filter, decrease the entropy with reverse card-shuffling techniques, whatever is left combines with the first stage filteration, then goes into adsorption, then we use fairly conventional reverse osmosis and forward osmosis, and then surface reject. As long as it matches or improves the water that the rancher or farmer gets from his untreated irrigation sources, we’re good for surface release. And of course, the most important bit, the reverse card shuffle output is solar dried, then shipped for refining. . . They are Clean and low-waste, but I don’t know their technique, not my wheelhouse. . . . Will you need help from this office for your project? . . . If that situation changes, please shoot me a text.

Amy. Good to see you again. Business okay? Family okay? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Likely. the current investment with existing technology is a forty year payback. We expect significant pushback from the industry. Shareholder activism is critically needed here. . . . . . . We have identified no alternatives. We have identified one fallback in the event of a failure of the P.I. or the base technology. The fallback will reduce water pollution emissions by forty percent over existing technologies, we consider that a failure over the existing technology of ninety-nine-point-four-percent reduction over existing technologies, essentially negligible or background for most contaminants. Will you need help from this office for your project? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Very well, thank you. If that situation changes, please shoot me a text message. We have some resources here, but your willingness to handle the whole thing helps us accelerate our other work. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tell her I make an excellent crepe . . . . . . . . . . It’s mostly healed . . . . The pain was considerable, but I managed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I’m not sure when they’re going to take them down, it makes the downtown area look like a circus. And most of the time they’re empty anyway, except for a few hours at dinner. . . . . Sure, but now it’s open season on the neighborhood, there isn’t enough parking down here which is fine, but when they favor the restaurants over the other businesses, I just think that isn’t good business . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . It wasn’t just Roma tomatoes, it was Romas with a big chunk of oil cured sundried tomatoes. . . . . . If they have one, please, the ones with the fresh mozarella and the basil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (editor’s note, end of recording.)