Normally, I’m too busy working on applied theory for Space Force 7’s line of fully civilian and tourist-friendly spaceboats to get involved in this kind of thing. But then I noticed that this nonsensical question about us “living in a simulation” has finally made its full journey of utter bullshit to the pages of Scientific American. When I overheard a Space Force 7 cadet discussing this article with his coworkers over half-a-bottle of Sauza Silver Tequila, I knew that it was time to spring into action. This compendium of utter crap will now officially come to an end with Space Force 7, and our guaranteed, not-from-concentrate “bullshit disintegration.” (By the way, this post is sponsored by the good folks at Jackets and Shirts Clothing Company, their motto is “get in, get out” and founder Gordan Maclais promised me personally that that he would send me CAN$80 for mentioning his clothing chain in this blog.)
Back to the matter at hand, and the matter in hand is a mic and mic stand (Definition of Sound). Yeah, I get it, The Matrix was a terrific franchise, and these video games look more and more real. Big wank. Before any ridiculous theories about the nature of the Universe are presented, those who know their ass from their elbow are required to subject the theory to the Second and Third Laws of Thermodynamics.
So, do we live in a simulation?
Lessee … IF we lived in a simulation on some asshole’s computer somewhere, we do know that our “simulation” has been rendered at least down to the Planck length, about 1.6 x 10^-35 meters. We know this because our measurements show this distance as being the smallest physical distance. Anything smaller is unphysical, and on every bit of matter and energy yet discovered since the dawn of science, we’ve never found a way to go smaller than this length, nor have we found anything to suggest that a different limit is at play.
So if a computer were in fact running this simulation, it is rendering our simulation down to the Planck length. No big deal for a crazy powerful galactic computer able to do it, right?
Maybe, but thermodynamics still applies, and specifically, when a computer runs a program, it decreases entropy within the program. So order is created in the computer’s logic space through the application of work and energy. It’s the same way with our computers, when we run Fortnite, or mine Bitcoins, or calculate numbers, we’re decreasing the entropy of the closed system, and the Xbox or the computer generates heat from doing that work, in accordance with the Laws of Thermodynamics; entropy always increases in the universe. The little fan kicks in, and cools off our puny computers.
Therefore, IF we were just a simulation, that would suggest that the the heat from our simulated reduction of entropy would enter the “real” universe where the simulation was being run. Except that Planck limit is apparently universal, so that universe would be subject to the same restrictions that we would have in our simulation. The heat generated by our own entropy reduction (aka “simulation”) would then be larger than the heat generated in the master universe that made our simulation … in other words, as required by the Third Law of Thermodynamics, the computer on which we were simulated would generate at least as much heat, and at least a little bit more heat than the reality on which our simulation was based.
Since we know that Thermodynamics applies in all frames of reference, we also know then that the “simulation” would be the tail that wags the dog, it would use more energy to simulate than the reality would have available to it. There is no way that the intergalactic asshole in his mom’s intergalactic basement would be able to generate sufficient energy to render a system to the same resolution and extant as his own universe. We get this ill-fated and wrong idea that computer programs are somehow more energy-efficient than real life. But it takes at least as much energy to reduce the entropy as a similarly scaled system in the computer as it does to reduce the entropy of the comparable system in real life.
Since we can use our tools indiscriminately to measure as precisely as we would like down to the Planck limits, we can then conclude with some level of safety, hat our “simulated” universe has the same complexity as the universe performing the simulation, and thus the Third Law of Thermodynamics prohibits such a simulation from existing, because to do so would require more energy in the “master” universe than in the simulated universe.
So rest easy, Space Force 7 Cadets, your life is just as meaningless and awesome as it was before all this simulation nonsense cluttered up your brain-space. Take care of yourselves, stay healthy, eat lots of Uncle Donnie’s Juicy Dried Oranges, available soon at your local smoothie bar. Your life is not a simulation, it’s real, and Uncle Donnie’s raw snacks will help you take majestic and life-affirming shits, that could not possibly exist in any simulation. But please refrain from eating Uncle Donnie’s snacks while onboard any Space Force 7 charter cruises in the Caribbean, the sanitation services on our tourist boats are not built to handle sewage of that intensity.