Both the Los Angeles surf contingent and the Texas cowboy contingent have known this for some time, but I’m only now beginning to clue in on this … Mexico is — in many ways — better suited for future economic stability than the USA. Canada population growth rate is currently about 0.9, they would normally be in a bad spot, but they control about one quarter of the world’s freshwater, and a smiling and willing victim with the USA to dump all their toxic waste. (We call Canadian toxic waste a “jobs opportunity.”) Waste from oil, gas, geothermal, agriculture, whatever you got Canada, just tend us a Telex and we’ll give you the best prices in the region for dumping the stuff you don’t want to contaminate your pristine and beautiful land.
So I think Canada will be okay, but the USA, we spend our money as fast as we make it, it’s the American way, and a lack of Mexican and Central Americans will leave us in a bit of a pickle. We can try to entice Africans to move here, maybe some South Americans, but there is a lot of cultural complexity to doing this. Mexico works well with the USA because so much of the USA is historically Mexico, they were here before we were. And they have a culture that is as ancient and in many ways less molested than China’s culture. They know what they’re doing.
The thing about population inversion, it happens fast and we can’t say “we’ll deal with that shit later.” We have to get ahead of it now. So these are our two obvious options …
- Do a Logan’s Run type scenario where Baby Boomers and Millennials (there aren’t enough of us Gen-Xers to bother) get on a floating carousel and then float toward the top of the arena, where a laser beam zaps them into a Utopia where they will never need to leave their homes, and everything comes delivered to them by the Afterlife Amazon. If necessary, we can replicate this process genetically somehow, maybe with some weird human-chimera genetic engineering that can only be cured by yet more human-chimera genetic engineering.
- Replace the USA-Mexico border with a strategic and defensible line of picnic tables and food kiosks on our side of the border, from the Gulf of Mexico to the Pacific. Simultaneously, Mexico can build a similarly-spaced line of strategic and defensible food kiosks and picnice tables on their side of the border. Once both are in place, we would then be able to remove the antiquated border wall, and replace it with the only so-far proven undefeatable warrior juggernaut, which has protected the region since the days of Tenochtitlan, also known as The Unstoppable Five; Fish Tacos, Ceviche, Carne Asada, Ricos and Frijoles, and a secondary tribute to the Rio Grande, the New River of Cantaritos, delivered by little clay pots of deliciousness to each of those occupied tables.
I prefer the second option. We really can’t risk plugging up the Amazon Afterlife with too many Boomers and their Progeny, given that Amazon already nearly owns our U.S. Postal Service.
So with the second option, that would open up a world of opportunities for United Impoverished States of America. Once we’re on the border, we can use it as a kind of jobs hub … shmooze a bit over the fish tacos, see if anyone in Mexico City has any day gigs for an out-of-work hedge fund manager, or a project management specialist. Once we can get some Americans into Mexico, they’ll be able to send us a few pesos now and then, and we’ll be cool. We don’t need that much to survive in the USA, we can mostly live off of the Burger King Dollar Menu and just limit our defense spending to just a few trillion bucks a year.