Editor’s note, this interview was included with the Rick Yukon tapes in the same box, recently recovered from the United Crushing files. It seems that Rick had interviewed Don Limpio aboard the frigate, while under house arrest. Limpio had made a shore visit from an undisclosed location in the South Atlantic. The microphone was not able to pick up any of the Rick Yukon comments other than a few scattered words, which we have included in these brackets: [ ]. This interview was recorded on Minicassettes, and some of the portions of this interview were not completely clear. We transcribed the best we could, however if we could not even guess at the content, we omitted that portion with a series of dots between brackets, such that each dot accounts for approximately 5 seconds, thus an unintelligible span of 15 seconds would be shown like this; [ . . . ]
Obviously, I didn’t see myself as a fascist, I saw myself as a successful businessperson. [ ] Yeah, okay, I saw myself as the single most successful businessperson that three major global industries had ever seen. I had reached a level of financial success that no other human had ever reached, and I had no problem in breaking the mythical billion-barrier. Now of course, it’s common, but back then it took a real effort to come even close to that barrier. There is already talk that we will see someone breach the trillion-barrier in our lifetime. But back then, it was a big deal. Industry had not concentrated to the level it is now, and I had to repel heaven and earth and own three major global industries to even touch a billion. [ . . . . . ]
In retrospect I was a fascist not because of what was in my head but because of what was in my actions. I moved my company in a direction that as history now shows, was a significant emboldening of fascism. But by the time the results of my action became apparent there was very little I could do to reverse that course. The Postal Service was all but ours, even if I wanted to reverse that course, there was no capacitance in the municipal bond market to save eighty-six percent of those local, small town post offices. [ ] But we were under compliance regulations that restricted our purchase of each post office. Each city, from the a major metropolitan area down to a city with literally nothing in it other than the post office itself, had to be presented with the market purchase price for that post office. When we did the initial projections, we knew about this restriction, so we predicted a top ownership of seventy-two percent of all the post offices in the country. It didn’t turn out like that of course, we hit ninety-two percent on the ninety-day deadline, and we were up to a bit over ninety-six percent in the next few months as most of the weaker purchase deals couldn’t pass government muster. And then within two years, an additional one point five percent become insolvent, which we purchased at market rate, and we finished the three-year acquisition at ninety-eight percent total ownership. [ ]
That’s what I told myself at the time too! [ ] I grew up with [ . . ] Excuse me, I grew up with that love, no question. I collected stamps, I just loved the Post Office, it was the one place where I could go with my dad that I knew we would have to wait on line for a while, and he would joke around with me while all the other human robots were programming themselves with their cell phones. And then we would always have a little running race down the hallway and to his old farm truck. [ ] It was an old farm truck, lots of dents, lots of rust, the cab was encased in a layer of dog hair. I hated it at the time, but I would love to take just one more ride in it now. We would drink cans of Mountain Dew and then toss the cans in the back of the cab. But yeah, I loved the Post Office. And I was maybe fourteen or so when I learned that it belonged to all of us. All I wanted at that point was get the whole thing for myself. [ Kafka, united crushing ]
Yes! Exactly like that! I wanted the universe of dogs to help me reach the richest marrow, and then I wanted it all for myself! I wanted all the dogs to disperse, it was Kafka, no doubt. [ ] But these are the results of our decision, are they not? It wasn’t until I was an old man that I found that we had committed a crime against our country by converting a treasured public resource into a product owned by our company. [ ] I never once thought about it. Not once. My thoughts at the time were how we could make it happen. If you would have asked me then if it was moral or nor moral, I would have answered in a breath that of course it was moral. How could it not be moral if I had spent my life on it? How could it not be moral if so many other dogs had helped me crush the hardest bones, with the richest marrow? [ Philip Wylie ]
You have that book here? i thought they had you under house arrest, where did you get it? [ pocket ] Do you remember that bit toward the beginning, with the Seven League Boots? [ twenty ]
If you can find the page, I’ll read it into the microphone of your recorder, give them a good show, huh? [ ] In the middle here? Okay …
This is Don Limpio, reading from Chapter One of Philip Wylie’s book Generation of Vipers … Our boots are not merely Seven League, they stride the globe. Our eyes see through light years, our ears hear voices from every city on the planet, our biceps tear down cliffs. In every material sense, we have reached the end of legends, the finale of the fairy tale. All of the physical imagining of Man when he was limited to the power of his own body, has been realized. But not any good whatevr has come of it. Only the greatest evil that man has yet endured.
Fuck man, put that slack in your pipe and smoke it, huh? I had never read the book, I remember at the time I was reading The Pursuit of Loneliness by Philip Slater, and it all seemed to make sufficient sense to me. Then you and I were in Vegas, you brought me up to your suite, you somehow had a zoo wrangler there with a tiger cub, I couldn’t have weighed any more than a bowling ball, that little thing. I had gone for a smoke on the balcony, I came back into the suite, all those degenerates, and you were over near the Jacuzzi with that tiger cub, it was sleeping in your arms. [ beneer ] It was on the coffee table with your keys and your wallet. [ bent ear ] I didn’t take it, I had flipped it open and read a few pages, and then I read that, and I knew it was the truth that Slater was trying to chase in his politics. [ bend deer ] Oh! Sorry, I thought you meant something else. Yeah, I probably should have seen that a functional fascist back then too. But who in the world can see themselves as they are unless they are making highly moral choices? [ ] In retrospect, of course not, they were the most immoral choices I could have made. My developing in that one decade brought on the privatization of the post office, of the police and of food and drug. [ Eddie ] Of course, he thought I was a god child. I would walk in an ask for a billion dollar development budget, he wrote the check, he didn’t even ask me for a prospectus. [ ] Yeah, he probably would have asked for one if I asked for five billion, but a billion, he just wrote the fucking check. How could I possibly have had any kind of rational view of myself with that kind of shit? For all intents and purposes, I was like Eddie. I was supposedly a lot wealthier than him, but I knew that was bullshit. Someone doesn’t write you a check for a billion unless they have a hundred more of those billions in the bank, right? But it was a different time back then, guys like Eddie had to hide his family’s money, so he just divvied it up between a couple of thousand trusts, a half billion there, a quarter billion there, you can hide a lot of wealth that way. [ ]
Eddie? I think he was as neutral on the whole thing as a person could be. He knew it was a mistake for me to take over the post office and food and drug. [ ] Because he told me that. He said “Don, you’re making a mistake.” But he never said that about the police. He loved that one. He clapped me on the back for that one, he said quote, good job on the police. [ ]
I’m not sure I really can talk about that. How long can you keep these tapes hidden? [ ] Fine, I’ll be dead by then anyway, but I need at least six on top of that and you got a deal. [ ] We did it through the police unions. [ ] No, the actual union. It was easy. We just took advantage of the condition. At the time, everyone hated the police union. The police hated their own union, the departments hated the union, the social justice protestors blamed that whole mess on the unions, the taxpayers blamed the mess mostly on the unions. Disbanding the unions was easy, we just pulled a patco on them nationally. All police unions decertified. They had no real ability to stop us, AFL-CIO couldn’t organize fast enough to stop us and I’m not sure they wanted to stop us anyway. Jonders hated the police union as much as anyone else. [ ] No, it was just an executive order, it was easy. The actual cops, troopers and deputies didn’t really like it, but they didn’t have the capacity to fight it either. I wrote the executive order, and the way it was delivered maybe varied in six or seven words, if that. We kept it simple. The more legal definitions you put in there the more holes you open for it. We issued the order in maybe two paragraphs, and it was in court within a week. That didn’t take a lot of effort to fight, and the union was decertified. Simple. [ ] Sure, but they couldn’t stop the privatization at that point. We got push back from less than five-percent of the municipal departments in the country. A bunch of sheriff’s departments and a few of the trooper departments couldn’t be privatized, we just left them alone. [ ] None. [ ] Right, none. How would you feel as a property owner if your taxes went from five thousand per year down to three thousand per year? None. Yeah, there may have been a few angry letters, but I never read any of that. As far as organized attempts to block it, at least once to we offered the tax rebate, none. [ ] Because we had the pockets. I told you before that Eddy would write a billion dollar check? He gave closer to ten billion to cover the first year’s operating expenses for the private police rebate. [ ] It’s just that, don’t make it complicated. [ ] That’s even more complicated that what we did. I had the ten billion for the first year, I knew we wanted to privatize something like two hundred and fifty municipal police departments, so I just divided the ten billion by two hundred fifty. So that’s some fifty million or so per city, right? Average. I pulled the police and deputy components, and we came up with say ten thousand property owners per acquisition, so we covered the fifty million divided by ten thousand and we do the five thousand incentive rebate. It wasn’t rocket science, we just bribed the property owners for the first year and then reduced the bribe by fifty percent each year for the next five years. [ ]
Eddie thought it was worth it. I’m sure it was worth it to him, he clapped me on the back. [ denargo ] I guess, just useful idiots. [ ] sure, because then he had every major police and sheriff department in the country on his payroll, or course he’s going to clap me on the back. For the first time, these officers had to to essentially do what Eddie told them to do without needing to waste any time in worrying about what ten thousand some property owners in the district told them to do. Their efficiency went through the roof. That’s where we made the real money. Their budgets were locked in because nobody defunds the police. So suddenly we move efficiency up fifty some percent, we’re pulling some billion or so per year in per department. That was easy money. [ ungale gear ]
Because I was a fascist. But I didn’t think of myself as a fascist, I thought of myself as the savior of humanity. I knew something about history, I eventually used to joke with Mackenzie, I would ask her “am I a fascist”? She said “You’re my fascist. You’re my teeny, tiny fascist.” And then she hugged me. I’m not sure she actually knew that by then I was falsifying arrest records as a cost of doing business. [ ] Well, you know, I would tell one of the chefs what to cook, and they made the dish. But yeah, that’s the way we did it. We weren’t going to risk all that work with someone presenting any kind of bona fide journalistic threat. So we arrested them on pretty boring charges. We would get them on DUIs and then lose them to suicide, we would get them on tax evasion and lose them to suicide, if they were higher profile we would get them on DUI and then give them a one-way ticket to Sydney, sometimes to Rio. Whatever it took. It it was cheaper to kill them, we killed them. If the computer found that it was even a hundred less expensive relocate them and save the execution for later, we did that. I didn’t take any joy in it, but I was a kind of an emperor. [ Macker ]
No, no knowledge. And if she did have knowledge of any of this I would tell you she didn’t. And if she organized two or three arrests on her own, I would tell you she didn’t. I don’t have anything more to say on this, it’s not a particularly pleasant subject. What else do you got?
Okay, I understand. [ ] yeah, I get that you have the need [ . . . . .] and it’s going to be the kind of thing that I’m going to have trouble recalling because it’s the kind of thing that keeps a man from sleeping at night. Okay, so yes, it always starts with the lie, the false accusation. You know that first lie will usually set off the chain of events the way you need. And then rest, I could wash my hands of it. I’m not going to tell you that I didn’t recommend a few summary executions, because I did. But by the time it gets to that level it’s dehumanized. Enough people process both the arrest and the summary execution at that point that I no longer saw these men as people. [ ] Maybe three? Four? It wasn’t more than five, I remember joking with Mack that I could count the number of female dissidents on one hand. [ ] Because they could be redirected more easily than the men. You put an orphaned six month old into the arms of the most militant feminist on the planet, and she’s compliant within six hours. That was SOP on the females. The only reason we had those three or four is probably because they went psycho when the saw the baby and we couldn’t put it into her hands. In retrospect they probably knew we were going to use the threat of infanticide against her, so they staged it, but a woman bouncing off the walls of her office isn’t going to be anything that an agent is going to be prepared to handle. [ ]
I told you, it was next to your keys and your wallet. You had one of those four by seven wallets, the synthetic sheet wallets. The book was there, I put it back, the one that was on the table was the one that you brought up to your room. [ ] I don’t blame your paranoia, that was something I would have done back then. But you need to remember, back then I was pretty broke. The council paid me some not too bad money to keep an eye on your and write those reviews, so I did it. [ ] It was in the Spheric office, the old one in Thomas Hunter Hall. [ ] Just weed, maybe Pete had some rum, not important. But I told you the deal up in the loft, you were fine with it. You didn’t have anything to hide back then, so you didn’t care. [ ] Oh, if you did that to me? In the heat of the worst days, or just an average day? { ] Okay, average day, I would have had you killed. Worst days, I would have had your family killed while you were forced to watch. [ ] Sure, but I wasn’t a human then, I was programmed by Eddie and the others, he had his whole Pendulum Dynamo model to social stability running, we thought we were building a thousand year corporation. It made sense to us at least, and we knew at that point that we could ontrol the flow of technological development, because at any give time, at least fifty one percent of the computing cycles of all government ran through our servers. We figured that we found the hole that all the others missed. Before Pendulum Dynamo, if you would have asked me if the Nazis were bad, I would have said yes. But after Pendulum Dynamo, my internal sense of oblivion was so corrupted that if you would have asked me if Nazis were bad, I would have told you something like quote it’s complicated. That’s never a good sign when your corporations can’t discern between Nazis and comptroller statements.
And then I found The Avesta. I was reborn in a sense. [ ] I don’t know. I’ve given most of whatever is left of my money to their charities, but I suspect if they found our the level of my former wickedness, they would no longer accept me. Zorostrians are a highly ethical people. [ ] Right, except me! But the faith touched me in a way that nothing else ever had. I had dreams of fire when I was a boy, they just came to my face in the fire temple. And for the first time in my my life, I was told to be a good human with no expectation of reward. I know that I’m going to burn in whatever hell is when I did, for the things I’ve done, and I don’t go for that Christian nonsense of universal forgiveness. So the Avesta tell me “do good things” and I have no expectation that I’m going to eventually suffer anyway for the mayhem that I’ve caused with my life.
[ ] Ah, but I’m getting a little tired, let’s make that that one the last one? On which one do you want to start? [ ] Okay, it depended on the State. In some states the children were issued a plastic Department of Public Health card, they could use that for school or work. In other states, we would could go with the smallpox mark, it was a little scab that left a scar, usually on the left shoulder or upper arm. When we inherited the program they had already moved to mercury tracers and the shoulder scars were getting harder to find. The original idea of the tracers is that we could test later to find the inoculation, because we could encode some very basic information in the tracer itself. But then public opinion went against the mercury, so that’s when we switched to just the straight vaccination records. They worked well enough for a time. I came into the program right when that was transitioning over to the ultraviolet permanent mark. [ ] Right, the tattoo. [ ] It was just a regular needle at the time of the vaccination. The UV dye had had the spectral response coded into the dipole and quadrupole moments of the ink. The rubber seal on the dispenser was saturated with the nanoparticles, which made the logistics easier to alter the code per population set. So the needle pulled through the cover, gathered some UV tracers, and then they were able to deposit deeper into the skin when the patient received the inoculation. We could reliably fluoresce the tattoos in a couple hundredths of second. [ ] Because it was the time. Black people were no longer willing to accept the discrimination, but skin pigmentation was an easy way for us to arbitrarily designate a non-protected class of people, which is what we usually need when we transition over to fascism. So we just shut down the discrimination programs, we gave them that win, and then we just replaced it all with the vaccination programs. We found that there were always going to be about eighteen percent of the population who was unwilling to take a tattoo. The fundamentalists wouldn’t take it, they called it the mark of the beast, or haram or unkosher, they all had a name for it. So we were able to designate about half that eighteen percent for dislocation. { } Dislocation is just a rejection from the individual client-state. Without the vaccination record they couldn’t get a regular job, they couldn’t send their kids to a regular school, they couldn’t get government services. It was just a bonus that about seventy percent of that population had the look of a racial minority. So we found a legal way to continue the racism programs we already had, we ended up with a scapegoat population of about twenty five million people, which was enough for our purposes, enough to destabilize the other few hundred million. It worked. Actually, I remember getting the check from Eddie on that one too, I think it was a half billion dollars or so, nothing too expensive. But the return on that investments may have beat all the others. We were able to eliminate the old institutional racism and replace it with the popularly supported vaccine racism, it paid at least a twenty to one? Maybe twenty five to one. { ] Yeah! Is it recording still? Fuck yes I’ll do it.
This is Don Limpio, with my rendition of Bottle of Smoke by the Pogues. Twenty fucking five to one, my gambling days are done, I bet on a horse named a bottle of smoke, and my horse won. I don’t remember the rest, I’m sorry, but I need to take a leak, we’ll pick this up later?